The letter is attached:
Hi,
My name is Amber, I grew up in Lake County to loving if somewhat scattered parents. I went to high school and played sports. I got good grades and decent scholarships for college. I was 18 when I found out I was pregnant. I had all of these dreams that my daughter would be perfect and beautiful and I could continue school and we would live happily ever after. My friends threw a baby shower it was wonderful, they were as excited as I was to meet the new baby. When she came it was on a Friday night. None of those friends were there. They came to visit in the days after with gifts for the baby and stories of the parties I had missed and wouldn't be going to anymore. When the baby was sick, it was just she and I. I held her while she cried for days on end with colic. I cried with her while we were to tired to keep going, but she was in too much pain to sleep. The doctor's appointments were my responsibility. I had to feed us both. I had to work and find a babysitter that I trusted. I worked a minimum wage job since my education was on hold, (I had to quit classes to have time to work.) When the money from that job went to pay the babysitter and left little more, I got another job. There were days that I dropped baby off at the sitters house at 8am worked from 9 until 4 at a restaurant then picked her up for an hour or two and went back to work at a bar from 6 until 2am. I slept for around 4-5 hours a night and rarely saw my baby girl. I can still remember hearing her cry when I had to drop her back off at the sitters. None of my friends were interested by then, a baby is really cute for a few days or even a few months, but then it is time to get back to life. I could never afford a sitter to go out, or try to date. (A young boy doesn't stick around just because he fathered a child) My parents helped where they could, but really it wasn't much and my mother was still pretty mad at me for getting pregnant and throwing away a chance at an education and career. While children are a blessing, they also deserve to have a good life and a minimum wage job or state assistance does not provide even a facade of a decent life. Let me share a few things with you:
Children do not love you unconditionally. Children are little egomaniacs that you must serve, teach, protect and love despite how angry they make you. Waking up at two in the morning to a toddler who has just vomited grape kool-aid and hot dogs on your pillow is not an ideal way to start the morning. Babysitters don't watch sick kids, so you just lost a shift you really really need to make money. There is no such thing as sleeping in. 6 am is about as late as it gets in my house.
I am finishing my bachelors degree... at 33 years old. And it is still hard to find a sitter.
My name is Amber, I grew up in Lake County to loving if somewhat scattered parents. I went to high school and played sports. I got good grades and decent scholarships for college. I was 18 when I found out I was pregnant. I had all of these dreams that my daughter would be perfect and beautiful and I could continue school and we would live happily ever after. My friends threw a baby shower it was wonderful, they were as excited as I was to meet the new baby. When she came it was on a Friday night. None of those friends were there. They came to visit in the days after with gifts for the baby and stories of the parties I had missed and wouldn't be going to anymore. When the baby was sick, it was just she and I. I held her while she cried for days on end with colic. I cried with her while we were to tired to keep going, but she was in too much pain to sleep. The doctor's appointments were my responsibility. I had to feed us both. I had to work and find a babysitter that I trusted. I worked a minimum wage job since my education was on hold, (I had to quit classes to have time to work.) When the money from that job went to pay the babysitter and left little more, I got another job. There were days that I dropped baby off at the sitters house at 8am worked from 9 until 4 at a restaurant then picked her up for an hour or two and went back to work at a bar from 6 until 2am. I slept for around 4-5 hours a night and rarely saw my baby girl. I can still remember hearing her cry when I had to drop her back off at the sitters. None of my friends were interested by then, a baby is really cute for a few days or even a few months, but then it is time to get back to life. I could never afford a sitter to go out, or try to date. (A young boy doesn't stick around just because he fathered a child) My parents helped where they could, but really it wasn't much and my mother was still pretty mad at me for getting pregnant and throwing away a chance at an education and career. While children are a blessing, they also deserve to have a good life and a minimum wage job or state assistance does not provide even a facade of a decent life. Let me share a few things with you:
Children do not love you unconditionally. Children are little egomaniacs that you must serve, teach, protect and love despite how angry they make you. Waking up at two in the morning to a toddler who has just vomited grape kool-aid and hot dogs on your pillow is not an ideal way to start the morning. Babysitters don't watch sick kids, so you just lost a shift you really really need to make money. There is no such thing as sleeping in. 6 am is about as late as it gets in my house.
I am finishing my bachelors degree... at 33 years old. And it is still hard to find a sitter.
You cannot go out every night, you cannot go for
overnights in Tahoe, Vegas or even down the street without the little one in
tow and cute enough, but no one wants to party with a child.
There is no money for new clothes or bags or snowboards or anything because diapers are expensive.
I am saying all of these things with a smile because we are in a good place right now where I can focus on my family and my children. I do have regrets about having children to early. Lots of them. Please, please get an education, travel the world, party, skydive, and sleep in as much as you can before you have children. Good Luck to you.
There is no money for new clothes or bags or snowboards or anything because diapers are expensive.
I am saying all of these things with a smile because we are in a good place right now where I can focus on my family and my children. I do have regrets about having children to early. Lots of them. Please, please get an education, travel the world, party, skydive, and sleep in as much as you can before you have children. Good Luck to you.
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